Though it was hard to start,  I did. Not to say I didn't fail. I failed more times than I can count, but it only took that one time of succeeding to change my course of life. Thoughts of never changing used to haunt me - what if no one ever thought I was beautiful? I know I didn't think I was beautiful. I mean you see all those campaigns, and slogans, and articles about how teenagers should love the way they look, that weight is just a number, and maybe, for a second, you believe it. But, it only takes that one remark to push it all back to the surface.
      Truth is, did people think I was beautiful? Yes. Maybe not in the way people think models or actresses are beautiful, but nonetheless they did - I just didn't see it. Perceptions often takeover the reality of situations.
      Should I have seen myself as beautiful? I mean I'm still the same person inside. So, then I ask does personality outweigh outward appearances? Maybe, maybe not. Everyone says it does, but does society really permit it to be true?
      So, the question I have for you is: Which are you afraid of failing or succeeding? By this I mean are you more afraid to start something you think will lead to ultimate failure or to succeed and still not see yourself, and have others see you, as beautiful. Do you feel as if you succeed people will still look at you like "the fat girl."
      If you picked failure, I would like you to remember that nothing, especially not weight loss, comes with your first try. You cannot be afraid to mess up. Just because you ate unhealthy today DOES NOT mean you have ruined a week of eating healthy - KEEP GOING. You will slip up, you will fail at times. But, you will succeed in the end.
      Now, if you picked succeed the best advice I have is - embrace your past. You should never be ashamed of who you used to be, as it made you into who you are. But, I promise you that in the end you will be able to look at yourself as you never have before.
      I know you don't believe it now, but exercise will one day be your escape, your release. You just have to get there. It's hard now, but it WON'T be hard forever. Pain is temporary.