Though it was hard to start,  I did. Not to say I didn't fail. I failed more times than I can count, but it only took that one time of succeeding to change my course of life. Thoughts of never changing used to haunt me - what if no one ever thought I was beautiful? I know I didn't think I was beautiful. I mean you see all those campaigns, and slogans, and articles about how teenagers should love the way they look, that weight is just a number, and maybe, for a second, you believe it. But, it only takes that one remark to push it all back to the surface.
      Truth is, did people think I was beautiful? Yes. Maybe not in the way people think models or actresses are beautiful, but nonetheless they did - I just didn't see it. Perceptions often takeover the reality of situations.
      Should I have seen myself as beautiful? I mean I'm still the same person inside. So, then I ask does personality outweigh outward appearances? Maybe, maybe not. Everyone says it does, but does society really permit it to be true?
      So, the question I have for you is: Which are you afraid of failing or succeeding? By this I mean are you more afraid to start something you think will lead to ultimate failure or to succeed and still not see yourself, and have others see you, as beautiful. Do you feel as if you succeed people will still look at you like "the fat girl."
      If you picked failure, I would like you to remember that nothing, especially not weight loss, comes with your first try. You cannot be afraid to mess up. Just because you ate unhealthy today DOES NOT mean you have ruined a week of eating healthy - KEEP GOING. You will slip up, you will fail at times. But, you will succeed in the end.
      Now, if you picked succeed the best advice I have is - embrace your past. You should never be ashamed of who you used to be, as it made you into who you are. But, I promise you that in the end you will be able to look at yourself as you never have before.
      I know you don't believe it now, but exercise will one day be your escape, your release. You just have to get there. It's hard now, but it WON'T be hard forever. Pain is temporary.

     The best was to start is by looking at yourself in the mirror - remember the first 3 words that first came to mind. Now, do you want to define yourself by those words?
    I get it. It's hard. It's hard be happy with the way you look. It's hard to not think that every wandering eye is looking directly at your flaws. It's hard to ignore the whispers coming your way. It's hard to be different.
     For me, the words I described myself as when I looked in the mirror a year ago were all but positive - they were words in which I would not dare call anyone else, knowing the impact they can have. I knew I needed to change, I couldn't live this sort of lifestyle anymore. A lifestyle in which I described myself as the "fat girl." A lifestyle where I was embarrassed to be seen. A lifestyle in which no teenage girl desires to have. A lifestyle where I would eat, just because I was bored, or sad, or stressed.
     Of course, I had my friends. Who, needless to say never admitted I had anything that needed to be changed. "You're perfect the way you are -we wouldn't lie to you," they said. Did I believe them? No. They didn't understand. They were all skinny. They all had boys constantly reminding them of how pretty they were. They all had perfect bikini bodies, untouched with extra fat. They never had to lie and say "I'm not feeling well, you guys go" just because they didn't want to draw attention to themselves, or the way the looked. They never felt the pain I felt. People often ask me if I changed for myself, or for others. The answer is one in the same. I changed for myself, but in the process I changed for others.
     On this blog, I would like to motivate and inspire any person who thinks as if they can't lose weight, or they can't do it healthily, that they can. That, in the end, they will they can, and will become everything they dreamed of. I understand. Others may not, but I do. And, I want to help.

I'll talk about this quote in one of my upcoming posts: "Nothing comes with ease, the faster the wind, the faster the trees."

If you have any questions, I'd be glad to help to answer.